Friday, March 23, 2012

But don't feed them after midnight: multiplying memes

My end, it justifies my means.
--Before I Forget, Slipknot
Bloggy Memes are the internet form of Mogwais.  They multiple quickly, and it can be difficult to figure out what to do with them.  Still, they are damn adorable, and I love you all for thinking of me. 
I have received some fab awards here of late, and it’s now time to acknowledge the fab people that passed on their bloggy lovin’ to me. 
Trisha over at Word + Stuff gave me a Kreativ Blogging Award.  The tithe is to list 6 things about little ol’ me.

Kathleen over at Reading, Writing and Life gave me a Sunshine Award, which is just such a great thing.  Makes me want to dance to Katrina and the Waves.  It comes with some specific questions to answer.

Wendy at The Red Angel gave me a Sunshine Award and a Lucky 7 Meme.  The Lucky 7 is pretty cool, you take your current ms, go to page 77, go 7 lines from the top and those next 7 lines are your tithe.

Suze at Analog Breakfast gave me a Versatile Blogger award, too, and she wants 7 more random facts about yours truly.
So without further ado, here is a plethora of memes.  You might want to make sure your blender is working--not sure what these things will do once I start to feed ‘em, and it’s getting close to midnight.
Six random facts about me:

1.  I find commercials that feature talking food really creepy, especially that Chips Ahoy commercial where the cookie has eyeballs.  Why would something I'm going to eat tell me how good it tastes and want me to eat it?  

Ooooo. . .wait, is this Freudian?  Because if I think like an anthropologist (see my last post) that means Chips Ahoy is trying to make me think of sex and chocolate chips. 

2.  I love garage sales with a mad passion.  My dad and I spend spring and summer digging through other people’s junk.  I’m hoping to have an American Pickers moment of greatness one day, maybe find a Monet and live for the rest of my life on easy street.  Or maybe I'll just find Suze's Cap'n Crunch Fire King mug, which would be almost as good.
I'm coming for you, Cap'n.

3.  This is one of my favorite pieces of art, an oil painting by a Polish guy named Beksinski.  They're apocalyptic lovers, and it really strikes a nerve in me.  To me, it symbolizes the kind of love that if you had just moments to live before annihilation, you'd wrap yourself around the other person and never let go.

4.  I am double jointed and can put both legs behind my head like a pretzel.  Strange how I didn't have more dates in college.  

5.  I was a Teacher’s Aide for a Human Physiology lab in college.  Consequently, I can castrate a rat in less than 5 minutes.  It takes me a little longer if he gets to his car first.

6.  The first real concert I went to was Metallica (pre-haircut and Napster) in Des Moines, Iowa.  I was almost smashed on the mosh pit floor until this giant burly dude pulled me from the fray like a tattooed god reaching from the heavens.  I'm still a fan of big burly tattooed guys, just look at my romance selections.  FYI, Gena Showalter has awesome tattooed warrior dudes.  
And another seven random facts about me:
1.  My husband and I are the product of a one-night stand that has turned into 15 years.  You can meet someone you'll love forever in a bar, I'm living proof.

2.  I love to be scared--one of my dream trips would be to go to the Stanley hotel (of The Shining fame) and spend a night.  Just as long as there are no clowns involved.  Clowns scare the freaking hell out of me.

The Stanley Hotel.  Just looks scary.

3.  When I’m tense, I pick at my pinky toenails.  As a result, they are horrifically deformed.  Think Hobbit feet.

4.  I hate turtlenecks on men.

5.   I’m a huge fan of musicals--Pippin and A Chorus Line are my favorites.  I briefly entertained a musical theater major in college.  Now I just sing in the shower.

6.  I know all the lines to The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  My fave song is “Toucha Toucha Toucha Touch Me.”

7.  I can do a pretty good imitation of Animal from the Muppets screaming “WOMAN!!”  

Specific questions about me from the Sunshine Award:

Favorite Color: Green.  

Favorite Animal: The Honey Badger.  They’re small, ferocious, can use tools, and secrete a substance from their anal glands that can calm bees.  What’s not to love?  

Favorite Number: 13.  No triskaidekaphobia here.

Favorite Non-Alcoholic Drink: Ice tea, unsweetened.   On the alcohol side, I love red wine and red beer.

Facebook or Twitter:  I like Twitter, because it’s one of those things where the name really does describe what it is.  I find Facebook odd--there’s a lot of sharing of things I don’t think necessarily should be shared, even if it is only with 10,134 of your closest friends.  Facebook also makes me realize that some of the people I know are narcissistic, self righteous assholes.  And the rest of the people I know just like cat videos.

My Passions: My family.  I have two little boys that hung the moon and make me remember what living is all about (some days the definition of success is watching Scooby Doo videos while wrapped in a warm blanket).  I also love to run, and I don’t feel right if I don’t go at least five times a week, even if it’s only for a mile.  Finally, I love to make people laugh--humor is what gets me through the day.

Getting or Giving Presents:  I am obsessed with gift giving--it’s nearly a sport to find the perfect gift for people I know.  I love finding something unique that totally defines that person.  I'm so not a gift card gal, unless I'm desperate.
Favorite Pattern: Paisley.

Favorite Day of the Week:  Any day I don’t have to work my normal job.

Favorite Flower:  Irises and lilies are tied.
Finally, here is the Lucky 7 meme.  This excerpt is from my novel, “Wheel of Fortune.” It's the story of Jorga Volf, disgraced plastic surgeon forced to move home and reconcile with her family--a clan of Czechoslovakian carnies who run their tiny town like a redneck mafia.  Page 77, seven lines down goes a little like this:

About three years ago there was an earthquake in Nebraska, only about an hour from here.  It lasted fifteen seconds and rated 3.5 on the Richter scale.  My fourth cousin Joey became a local celebrity after the ABC affiliate from Omaha came out and interviewed him regarding his injuries.  He’d been on the toilet when it happened, and a bottle of Liquid Plumber fell out of the cabinet and beamed him right on the head, putting him in a coma for three days.  Guy still stutters.
I was perched on the bathroom vanity, trying out this purifying facial masque Stasia had when the house suddenly shook with a force so violent, I accidentally poked myself in the eye with a clay covered finger.  Limited by monocular vision, I stumbled out of the bathroom into the hallway just as another shock went through the house, this time accompanied with a deafening explosion of glass.

Thanks all of you for sending me your memes and thinking of me; I hope I didn't miss anyone.  Lately I've been a little thin in the blogging department--when life starts getting hectic, it seems to be one of the first things I have to put a hold on.  Stuff like this makes me remember how much I love the writerly community.  Have a fantastic weekend!!

And for those of you (Mr. McCarthy, where are you?) who came solely for the nudity I promised?  Here ya go:

Will Ferrell, naked.  You're welcome.


  1. Congratulaltions to you on all those fabulous awards (I could have done without Will Ferrell though).

  2. Wow. This could be more than I wanted to know. Ha!

    I'm a huge garage sale hound too. As a matter of fact, I'm just waiting on daylight to hit the road this morning.

  3. I was loving this post until the picture! Grats on all your shiny awards :)

  4. Congrats on all your well-deserved awards. I loved the snippet from your story.

    And darn you for putting that image of Will Ferrell in my head. ewewew.

  5. Now, are those your actual feet? Damn.

    Good stuff as always, loved the excerpt.

  6. It'll take me all weekend to get that last image out of my head!
    Both feet over your head? Damn. I can touch my toes!

  7. Congratulations on all your awards, and for having enough facts to honour them all!

    I find talking food creepy too - especially Pepperami, because they eat themselves!

  8. I don't know what's worse, that cookie, or the singing California Raisins. Gross.

    So glad you didn't have monocular vision forever. Someday you'll have to show me that double jointed thing in yoga.

  9. I have a sudden urge to throw toilet paper at a screen ... or toast... or sing Let's do the Time Warp Again! Or maybe watch the Muppets! Great answers :)

  10. Well, he IS wearing pearls :)
    Great learning more about you!

  11. Your facts made me laugh, especially the one about castrating rats :-)

    I love how you have a vein of humour running through your exerpt as well. Makes me want to read more.

  12. JULIE ~
    Thanks for coming through on your promise.

    I had no idea Will Ferrell was
    so H-A-I-R-Y 'N' H-O-T-!
    (He could use more cowbell though.)

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

  13. LMAO! I love those random facts. Turtlenecks on guys are especially heinous. And what I wouldn't give to castrate a rat.

    Congrats on the awards and honors. Well deserved, my friend. :)

  14. Congratulations on all of your awards! I enjoyed reading all of your fun facts, and Wheel of Fortune sounds like it's off to a great start! I'll never look at Honey Badgers the same way again! Julie

  15. Fun and revealing post Julie.

    Regarding your love for garage sales--do you ever look at the online auction over at ShopGoodWill? It is amazing the wild stuff that ppl donate there--we have found some neat treasures.

    Also, the Mrs. did similar things at Bryn Mawr as your #5 (rat slasher) while she was applying to grad schools as a research asst. As a result, I don't make her mad in the kitchen near potential edged weapons.

  16. Congrats on all the awards! I have one I need to post too, so thanks for the reminder.

    I could have done without the naked Will Ferrell pic though, lol.

  17. I have friends who always find cool stuff at garage sales, but I really only seem to come up with junk. My favorite things to look for are sewing-related or yards of fabric.

  18. Yeesh, earthquakes in Nebraska (love the images), not to mention musicals, Hobbit feet, garage sale love, and desire to be scared. You are a complicated lady! :-)

  19. LOL! You are so awesome! And yes, memes do multiply. They can be scary.

  20. HAHA at Chips Ahoy. I think technically ANYthing could be considered Freudian.. :P

    I also love garage sales and yard sales! You can find some really useful and attractive stuff for excellent deals. I also hosted my very first yard sale the summer before I went to college and it was a ton of fun.

    I'm totally on the same page with you about gift-giving. I don't like buying gifts unless the items are things I know the other person would love/really needs. I prefer DIY projects!

    Now here is a question for you: What's worse, turtlenecks on men or V-necks? LOL

    ~Wendy Lu

    The Red Angel Blog

  21. It's nice to get to know you a bit more. =) Congrats on so many mentions.

  22. Wow. That was a long haul -- and you executed with tremendous grace.

    All right, first things first. One of my favorite commercials features talking food. Hang on while I go hunt down a link ...

    Just watched it, again. Actually, it's an eensy bit annoying. But still cute(ish.)

    Second, omigah! Can't tell you how much more it would mean to me if the grail came from you ...

    Numero tres, I've seen the Stanley Hotel. Fact, it was in Estes Park, CO that I found out I was carrying a little stowaway. I knew I was up the duff. I bought a preggers test and a bouquet of flowers at Safeway for my yoosband. Smiling at the memory.


    'Facebook also makes me realize that some of the people I know are narcissistic, self righteous assholes. And the rest of the people I know just like cat videos.'

    You rock the delivery, babe.

    -Gee Wiz

  23. I think castrating a rat in under five minutes might have been the reason why you didn't have more dates in college. :)

    Congrats on all of your blog bling!

  24. Congrats on your awards and I love hearing all of your answers. You are so funny. That Captain Crunch mug is pretty awesome. And I love Scooby Doo days too. The kids and I fell in love with the Scooby Doo on Zombie Island movie...nostalgia. Have a great week!! :D

  25. My eyes!!! (Will Ferrel naked? Oy!)

    That apocalypse lover painting is so striking.

    I agree with you on the men in turtleneck thing. ;)

    Congrats on the awards!

  26. lol on the Will Ferill pic. He's too funny.

    I love that piece of art you posted. It's so profound. I hate turtle necks, too.

  27. Yay for nudity! LOL!!

    I loved this extract of your novel! I went "ouch" at the though of poking one's eye out during an earthquake!!

    I love musicals too!! Rocky Horror is just brilliant - esp the Timewarp dance!

    Huge congrats with all your awards!!!

    Take care

  28. You are hilarious and highly impressive. I'm most in awe of your ability to castrate a rat in under 5 minutes. Would you please teach me?


  29. Great fun learning more about you, Julie! My fave color is green as well. Though I do like facebook primarily to know what's going on with my family who doesn't live near me. I love looking at their photos. Though sometimes fb does tick me off. TMI and political stuff shoved in my face.
    Your book sounds amazing, intriguing and so unique!

  30. Also, I love your lyric of the days because I usually like the bands you feature! I met the singer Corey Taylor of Slipknot once. Nice guy.

  31. I love this post! You're hilarious.

    Interesting about the one night stand! :D And totally with you on the men and turtlenecks thing. There's a reason they're called TURTLE NECKS. Not attractive.

  32. You are wonderful for - among many other things - dropping by to inform me of chocolate-dipped peeps. Really? I had recently commented on someone's blog in a derogatory manner (because they don't involve chocolate) about florescent colored marshmellow-y chicks. Now I know what to hunt down next Easter or tomorrow. Thanks, Julie.

    I hope you had a fantastic Easter weekend.

  33. Why thank you for sharing naked Will Ferrell :P

    Loved all your answers! I agree that it's creepy when things you're meant to eat are talking to you!

    I envy you that Metallica concert experience. Oh, and I almost broke a rib (it was very badly bruised and I couldn't breathe easily) in a Soundgarden mosphit. Doesn't sound as deadly as a Metallica mosh pit, right? Still, I was right against the barrier and was getting squished anyway, and then someone landed on my head and crunched me into the barrier! ;)


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