Eleven, One Louder

LYRIC O’ THE DAY:

Swallow my doubt, turn it inside out

Find nothing but faith in nothing

--Inside Out, Eve 6

The fabulous Annalisa Crawford passed me some questionable bloggy loving!  Wait, that sounded wrong.  What I meant to say was I have been challenged to answer 11 questions from the depths of Annalisa’s mind, and then to make 11 questions of my own to pass on to unsuspecting--and perhaps questionable--bloggers.  I’m calling this little meme “Eleven: One Louder” in honor of that quintessential mockumentary, Spinal Tap.

ELEVEN:  ONE LOUDER

1.  Which book, that you're supposed to love, do you actually hate?

Lolita.  I just could not get past the pedophilia angle, no matter how beautiful the prose.  I get that it is an examination of darkness and perversity, and perhaps it is brilliant because it made me truly uncomfortable.  I just can’t read novels that involve crimes against children; it makes my heart hurt.  Perhaps that’s why I stick to romance and the paranormal. 

2.  What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

I’m not sure if I should admit this, what for fear of having Noxema and other key items of teen angst hurled at me, but it was Breaking Dawn.  A good friend who has a Twilight fetish made me do it--she promised me wine and buff werewolves.  The Bella-Edward deflowering scene made me laugh like a demented cheerleader.  And then I wished I knew a vampire.  Breaking headboards and shredding linen?  Whoa.

3.  Name four people (dead or alive) you would like to invite for dinner. 

This question always intimidates me, because I feel like I should say somebody really monumentous in history.  But then I’m like, if I invite Mother Teresa to dinner, WTH would I say to her?  Would we discuss my hard core fascination with Highlanders and the HEA?  The virtues of bikram vs. ashtanga?  My borderline obsession with finding the perfect running tank?  Seriously, I would probably just sit there and try hard not to spill on myself and feel really, really pathetic in moral terms.  And who wants that kind of pressure?  But I guess, since this is a fantasy dinner, for that night I can miraculously morph into super hostess, fully of witty repartee and social commentary.  I think I’d like to get a big group of very different people together and just watch the dynamics:

John Lennon.  

Johnny Carson.  

John Wayne.

Lucille Ball. 

My Grandma Hulinsky.

And just so I wouldn’t be too freaked out by being surrounded by all dead people, Margaret Atwood.  And maybe Robert Downey Jr., because I just love him.

4.  Can you remember your first teacher?

So I had a bizarre kindergarten experience because my dear older brother and sister had already taught me to read and such, so when I got to school, the powers that be stuck me in an accelerated class for munchkins two days a week.  So the first real teacher I remember was Mrs. Redfern, who had earrings that swung like pendulums, smelled like rose water, and taught me to play with an abacus.  This pissed me off to no end, because everybody else got to design macaroni pictures and play with Little Tikes plastic while I was clacking beads on a wire.  When I got older and had a tiff with some of the mean girls on the playground, one of their favorite digs was to tell me I needed to go back to kindergarten because I missed all of the lessons on having friends.

Those bitches were so wrong.  

The first teacher I will never forget was Mrs. Anderson.  One day during recess she told me I could not play matchbox cars with the boys because that was not a proper game for little girls.  She pulled me across the gym, handed me a jump rope, and said “This is what little girls do.”  Fast forward a few years, and an essay on how little girls should ignore the Mrs. Andersons of the world is what got me into medical school.  To rip off Holden Caulfield, everywhere you go in this world there’s a Mrs. Anderson.  Just don’t let her tell you what you can and cannot do.

5. In which order should Star Wars be watched: IV, V, VI, I, II, III or I, II, III, IV, V, VI?

I’m not sure if order matters, but amount of red wine consumed before each certainly does.

6.  Which fictional character would you like to be for a day?  


I should say someone respectable, like Nancy Drew or Wonder Woman.  Maybe Winnie the Pooh, because he just seems so Zen.  But I think I want to be Rhage from J.R. Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood series.  Because he’s a vampire that morphs into a giant dragon and eats bad guys.  And that just sounds amazingly testosterone filled, and if I get to be something else for a day, I think I want to be a man so I can try to understand the motivation and thought patterns of the burlier sex.  Maybe there is a flawed neurologic connection that truly does prevent them from putting dirty clothes in the laundry hamper instead of on the floor.  I could also be Merry Gentry from the Laurell K. Hamilton fairy series.  Because she has a magic vagina that can save the world.  ‘Nuff said.

7.  Sweet or savoury?

Savoury.  Or vinegary.  I have mad love for salty, vinegary things.  I can eat an entire jar of pickled beets in one sitting.  And interestingly enough, then your pee turns red.  As does other things.  Just FYI in case you think you are hemorrhaging internally.

8.  Do you have a tattoo? How many?

I have a tattoo on my shoulder that I talked about in Bohemian vs. bohemian.  I got it about a year ago in homage to my Eastern European heritage and I am really proud of it.  My next ink will be my sons’ names on my right wrist.

9.  Do you still have your first teddy bear? (I do.)

I don’t.  I do have my baby blanket and my first Betsy Wetsy doll.  I also have several bald Barbies that I went hairdresser on when I was a toddler.  I actually just recently bought a Barbie--the Tokidoki Barbie with the pink hair and tattoos.  Now apparently she is on Ebay for lots of money, but I love her too much to sell.

10.  Oggy, oggy, oggy... Does anyone know what comes next? (hehehe)

Hmmm.  Maybe, honey, can you get me a breath mint?

11.  What are you reading right now? 


 I just finished the Karen Marie Moning Fever series.  A very cool twist on fairies.  For something completely different, I just started The Prague Cemetery by Umberto Eco.

And now here are my 11 questions:

1. Paper or plastic?
2. What cartoon do you still secretly enjoy watching?
3. If you could pick up an instrument and immediately know how to play, what instrument would you choose?
4. What is the song that most defines your personality?
5. What’s your anger style?  (i.e. simmer and steam, etc.)
6. What do you think will be the downfall of modern society?
7. What is the best character name you’ve ever come across?
8. What is your most bizarre beauty ritual?
9. What is your favorite scent?
10.   Could your Significant Other identify you by just one body part, and if so, which one?
11.   What moment in your life would have won the $10,000 on America’s Funniest Home Videos?

The 11 questionable bloggers that get these babies are:

D.L. Hammons at Cruising Altitude

Cynthia Chapman Willis at Laptops and Lattes

Julie at Empty Nesty Insider

Raelyn Barclay

Angela Orlowski Peart

L.G. Smith at Bards and Prophets

L.B. Diamond at Diamond-Lucid Dreamer

Delores from The Feathered Nest

Melissa Bradley at Melissa's Imaginarium

Stephen T. McCarthy at Stuffs (just 'cause I'd love to hear the answers and we share mad love for Spinal Tap)

Girl Wizard (on hiatus, but I'd love to get at least question #4 from her)

Answer none, one or e--lev--un.  Ha, that rhymes.  I'm a poet and I didn't know it, but man, my feet show it.  They're Longfellows.

Good day to you all!