Sunday, March 4, 2012

Eleven, One Louder

Swallow my doubt, turn it inside out
Find nothing but faith in nothing
--Inside Out, Eve 6
The fabulous Annalisa Crawford passed me some questionable bloggy loving!  Wait, that sounded wrong.  What I meant to say was I have been challenged to answer 11 questions from the depths of Annalisa’s mind, and then to make 11 questions of my own to pass on to unsuspecting--and perhaps questionable--bloggers.  I’m calling this little meme “Eleven: One Louder” in honor of that quintessential mockumentary, Spinal Tap.


1.  Which book, that you're supposed to love, do you actually hate?

Lolita.  I just could not get past the pedophilia angle, no matter how beautiful the prose.  I get that it is an examination of darkness and perversity, and perhaps it is brilliant because it made me truly uncomfortable.  I just can’t read novels that involve crimes against children; it makes my heart hurt.  Perhaps that’s why I stick to romance and the paranormal. 
2.  What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

I’m not sure if I should admit this, what for fear of having Noxema and other key items of teen angst hurled at me, but it was Breaking Dawn.  A good friend who has a Twilight fetish made me do it--she promised me wine and buff werewolves.  The Bella-Edward deflowering scene made me laugh like a demented cheerleader.  And then I wished I knew a vampire.  Breaking headboards and shredding linen?  Whoa.
3.  Name four people (dead or alive) you would like to invite for dinner. 
    This question always intimidates me, because I feel like I should say somebody really monumentous in history.  But then I’m like, if I invite Mother Teresa to dinner, WTH would I say to her?  Would we discuss my hard core fascination with Highlanders and the HEA?  The virtues of bikram vs. ashtanga?  My borderline obsession with finding the perfect running tank?  Seriously, I would probably just sit there and try hard not to spill on myself and feel really, really pathetic in moral terms.  And who wants that kind of pressure?  But I guess, since this is a fantasy dinner, for that night I can miraculously morph into super hostess, fully of witty repartee and social commentary.  I think I’d like to get a big group of very different people together and just watch the dynamics:
    John Lennon.  
    Johnny Carson.  
    John Wayne.
    Lucille Ball. 
    My Grandma Hulinsky.
    And just so I wouldn’t be too freaked out by being surrounded by all dead people, Margaret Atwood.  And maybe Robert Downey Jr., because I just love him.
    4.  Can you remember your first teacher?
      So I had a bizarre kindergarten experience because my dear older brother and sister had already taught me to read and such, so when I got to school, the powers that be stuck me in an accelerated class for munchkins two days a week.  So the first real teacher I remember was Mrs. Redfern, who had earrings that swung like pendulums, smelled like rose water, and taught me to play with an abacus.  This pissed me off to no end, because everybody else got to design macaroni pictures and play with Little Tikes plastic while I was clacking beads on a wire.  When I got older and had a tiff with some of the mean girls on the playground, one of their favorite digs was to tell me I needed to go back to kindergarten because I missed all of the lessons on having friends.
      Those bitches were so wrong.  
      The first teacher I will never forget was Mrs. Anderson.  One day during recess she told me I could not play matchbox cars with the boys because that was not a proper game for little girls.  She pulled me across the gym, handed me a jump rope, and said “This is what little girls do.”  Fast forward a few years, and an essay on how little girls should ignore the Mrs. Andersons of the world is what got me into medical school.  To rip off Holden Caulfield, everywhere you go in this world there’s a Mrs. Anderson.  Just don’t let her tell you what you can and cannot do.
      5. In which order should Star Wars be watched: IV, V, VI, I, II, III or I, II, III, IV, V, VI?

      I’m not sure if order matters, but amount of red wine consumed before each certainly does.
      6.  Which fictional character would you like to be for a day?  

      I should say someone respectable, like Nancy Drew or Wonder Woman.  Maybe Winnie the Pooh, because he just seems so Zen.  But I think I want to be Rhage from J.R. Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood series.  Because he’s a vampire that morphs into a giant dragon and eats bad guys.  And that just sounds amazingly testosterone filled, and if I get to be something else for a day, I think I want to be a man so I can try to understand the motivation and thought patterns of the burlier sex.  Maybe there is a flawed neurologic connection that truly does prevent them from putting dirty clothes in the laundry hamper instead of on the floor.  I could also be Merry Gentry from the Laurell K. Hamilton fairy series.  Because she has a magic vagina that can save the world.  ‘Nuff said.

        7.  Sweet or savoury?

        Savoury.  Or vinegary.  I have mad love for salty, vinegary things.  I can eat an entire jar of pickled beets in one sitting.  And interestingly enough, then your pee turns red.  As does other things.  Just FYI in case you think you are hemorrhaging internally.
        8.  Do you have a tattoo? How many?
          I have a tattoo on my shoulder that I talked about in Bohemian vs. bohemian.  I got it about a year ago in homage to my Eastern European heritage and I am really proud of it.  My next ink will be my sons’ names on my right wrist.
          9.  Do you still have your first teddy bear? (I do.)
            I don’t.  I do have my baby blanket and my first Betsy Wetsy doll.  I also have several bald Barbies that I went hairdresser on when I was a toddler.  I actually just recently bought a Barbie--the Tokidoki Barbie with the pink hair and tattoos.  Now apparently she is on Ebay for lots of money, but I love her too much to sell.
            10.  Oggy, oggy, oggy... Does anyone know what comes next? (hehehe)
              Hmmm.  Maybe, honey, can you get me a breath mint?
              11.  What are you reading right now? 

               I just finished the Karen Marie Moning Fever series.  A very cool twist on fairies.  For something completely different, I just started The Prague Cemetery by Umberto Eco.
              And now here are my 11 questions:
              1. Paper or plastic?
              2. What cartoon do you still secretly enjoy watching?
              3. If you could pick up an instrument and immediately know how to play, what instrument would you choose?
              4. What is the song that most defines your personality?
              5. What’s your anger style?  (i.e. simmer and steam, etc.)
              6. What do you think will be the downfall of modern society?
              7. What is the best character name you’ve ever come across?
              8. What is your most bizarre beauty ritual?
              9. What is your favorite scent?
              10.   Could your Significant Other identify you by just one body part, and if so, which one?
              11.   What moment in your life would have won the $10,000 on America’s Funniest Home Videos?
              The 11 questionable bloggers that get these babies are:

              D.L. Hammons at Cruising Altitude
              Cynthia Chapman Willis at Laptops and Lattes
              Julie at Empty Nesty Insider
              Raelyn Barclay
              Angela Orlowski Peart
              L.G. Smith at Bards and Prophets
              L.B. Diamond at Diamond-Lucid Dreamer
              Delores from The Feathered Nest
              Melissa Bradley at Melissa's Imaginarium
              Stephen T. McCarthy at Stuffs (just 'cause I'd love to hear the answers and we share mad love for Spinal Tap)
              Girl Wizard (on hiatus, but I'd love to get at least question #4 from her)

              Answer none, one or e--lev--un.  Ha, that rhymes.  I'm a poet and I didn't know it, but man, my feet show it.  They're Longfellows.

              Good day to you all!


              1. This was a fun post, I enjoyed learning more about you.

              2. Some great answers as always. =)

              3. JULIE ~

                >>...“Stephen T. McCarthy at Stuffs (just 'cause I'd love to hear the answers and we share mad love for Spinal Tap)”

                So, I’m watching DVDs with my Brother, Napoleon, and between movies I goes to my Blogspot Dashboard and I see your latest showing in the “Following” window. It’s titled “Eleven, One Louder”.

                Just then, Brother Nappy walks in and he starts pressuring me: “Are we going to watch a movie, or what?”

                I said, “Yeah” and I walk away from the computer after having just clicked on the title of your blog bit (so if your “Stats” device makes it appear that it took me hours to read “Eleven, One Louder” you’ll understand why). And I say to Nappy as we’re heading into the living room where the TV is, “If that blogger, Julie Fedderson, posted a blog bit about ‘Spinal Tap’ and she doesn’t mention me, I’m gonna be really pissed.”

                True story!

                So then I come back a couple hours later and find that you DID mention ‘Spinal Tap’... and me. (Whew! You were on thin ice there, Sister!)

                OK, I’ll answer the questions. Tomorrow (I mean, later today)... if I’m not too hungover. But you’ll be sorry you axed... (a li’l forewarning, just so ya know!)

                ~ D-FensDogg
                ‘Loyal American Underground’

              4. I love your answers - and the questions you chose :-)

              5. Great answers. Thanks for playing along. Now... I'm not stalking you, but I've also given you an award *blushes*

              6. Hey, babe. Actually Not On Hiatus. I loved reading your answers, perhaps especially the Mother Teresa schtick. I love chuckling over my morning coffee. Have you read the Tao of Pooh? One of my husband's favorite books. He's very Pooh-Bear like.

                All right, well I posted last night about why I'm Not On Hiatus. And I'm gonna post on Wednesday for Al's Writers' Group Thingie so I'll answer your questions, then.

                Keep it real, my girl Jules!

                xx forever
                Girl Wiz

              7. And I think Annalisa is stalking you. ;)

              8. You are HILARIOUS! But you already knew that. ;)

                I've never read Lolita. I have kids of my own so anything with pedophilia riles the mama bear in me. I'm not sure I'll be able to read it and not tear the pages in pieces.

                And man, I hear ya on those Barbie dolls. The long, shiny hair. I'm sure it has tempted kids all over the world to play hairdresser.

                As always, I come here to be entertained, and you NEVER disappoint! <3

              9. Ha! Oh gosh, now I have to answer 11 questions. LOL!

                Love your Star Wars answer.

              10. Love that you found a "badge" for this one! Great answers and fun questions. Thanks for the tag :) (I got nailed with this earlier so my answers to your questions will have to be an April post.)

              11. What's wrong with girls playing with Matchbox cars? That teacher was a wacko.

              12. Okay...I don't usually do these tagging things...they're too similar to chain letters...but I really like the questions you asked, so I'll probably take a stab at it.

                PS. I'm SO glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read your answer to #10. Can you say nose spurt! :)

              13. Yeah, screw the Mrs. Andersons of the world. Heh heh.

                Hey, I wonder who you were talking about? Twilight fetish? Should we tell her her anonymity is at risk on your blog? LOL!

              14. Well thanks so much Julie.....I can't begin to tell you how long that took me but I dood it.

              15. I loved your answers! And yeah, the Mrs. Andersons can go jump!

                I've still got my first teddy. He has a patched bum 'cause he sat on a stove and got burned.

                I still have not seen that Twilight movie! Guess I've missed it now. Bummer!

              16. watching TWILIGHT= deadly, unforgivable sin :)
                eating pickled beets= me approves :) Although I make them myself instead of buying it in jars :)

              17. Ah, Lolita was another book I never finished. Ooo, being Nancy Drew would be so cool.

              18. You're a pretty tough act to follow, but thanks for thinking of me! I'm glad you didn't assign a due date, and I will try to answer some of the questions as thoughtfully as possible. BTW, I love the subject of your med school essay! Wish you could let her know! Julie

              19. I love that Eve 6 song!
                And I love your answers. Dang Mrs. Anderson. But really she was a small part of shaping you to be independent me thinks (much to her chagrin).

                And do you not like Star Wars? (sniff...)

              20. LOL Merry and her magic vagina. Anita Blake appears to have one as well. I think's it's funny and I'm kind of over it, I still go back for more Laurell K. Hamilton. ;)

                And I get tapped for 11 questions. Cool!

              21. Hey Julie! I know I haven't stopped by in quite a while....So many fabulous little time! :D
                I LOVE a lot of your answers...because they are what I might have said...Johnny Carson, John Wayne, Lucille Ball.....and Robert Downey, Jr...*swoon*...I just LOVE him, too! Oh, and being Nancy Drew! Oh, and you had a Betsy Wetsy?? I had a Tiny Tears! :)


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