Seven Things You Didn't Really Want to Know About Me, but I'm Telling You Anyway.

LYRIC O’ THE DAY:

Expectations only mean you really think you know what’s coming next

And you don’t.

--These Important Years, Husker Du

I am totally honored to have been chosen for some delicious blog awards.  First, from Alynza at The Write Journey is the Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award AND a Versatile Blogger award.  I want to eat the first one, and then write a dissertation of the existential plight of man while changing the oil on my Jeep with the other.  Because I'm versatile.  I also received the Versatile Blogger from S.B. at Writing the Other, so I was doubly versatiled.  I am finally receiving recognition for my ability to multitask!  No longer can people give me grief when I call them while in the bathroom.

As part of the tithe for these bits of glory, I am supposed to share seven things about me and then pass the torch to five other bloggers.  Doing this exercise made me realize that I need to start doing some interesting things with my days, because I'm a little vanilla here.

Seven Things about me:

1.  When I cut things, I unconsciously move my jaw up and down with each bite of the scissors.  I can’t stop myself and it drives people crazy.  Once I made a set of paper dinosaurs for my son and had lockjaw for three days afterwards.

2.  I was going to be a theater major until a bizarre little man who resembled Beetlejuice (aka my college advisor) talked me out of it.  Now I can only reminisce about my high school performance as Abigail in The Crucible.  I was the state of Nebraska's best actress in Class B in 1989, by the gods!  I coulda been a contender!  Consider yourself fortunate for my misstep on the career pathway, Winona Ryder.

I saw Goody Proctor with the Devil!!

3.  I am irrationally afraid of clowns, which stems from watching Poltergeist at too young an age.  The hospital where I work has a clown day once a month, and every freaking time I end up trapped on the elevator with them.  They try to talk to me and all I can do is punch the button frantically and whimper.  I don’t think there’s a diagnosis code for “clown-related psychosis.”  I can't even post a picture of my fear, so instead I offer fuzzy baby kittens:

4.  I nearly died as a baby from Rh disease, also known as hemolytic disease of the newborn.  Basically my mother formed antibodies to my blood.  I was born premature at the University, hospitalized for transfusions and got septic with E.coli.  I know this because I found my hospital records on microfiche when I got into the University medical school.  I never knew before that.  And I've felt lucky to be alive ever since.  Also might explain my vampire fixation.

5.  I love high heels.  I arrange them by amounts of time I can stand wearing them.  Thick platform heels are the best for work, those are usually my 12 hour heels.  The others all vary between 6 and 10 hour heels.  Flats steal my power.

My favorite heels.  These are all 12 hour babies.

6.  I know how to can.  As in preserve vegetables for posterity.  Every year I make sauces, salsa, and pickled things.  When the zombie apocalypse comes, I will be quite comfortable in my underground bunker.

7.  I worked construction with my dad for two summers when I was in college.  One of my jobs was to be “the vibrator girl.”  This involves a large canister vacuum-looking device with a wand on the end that--you guessed it--vibrates.  You plunge said wand into wet cement in order to vibrate out the holes of air that may be trapped.  It’s much less erotic than it sounds.

Judging by this picture the construction tool business is not above sexual exploitation.

Now I pass the love to some very worthy bloggers that I want to know more about:


A.G. at Rejected Riter
B.E. Sanderson at The Writing Spectacle
Maggie at The Unibrow
Lexcade at Going from Nobody to Somebody
Liz at Home is where the Cat Is