And that's why you should never stick a flamingo up your skirt

LYRIC O’ THE DAY:

I never meant to be so bad to you

One thing I said that I would never do

One look from you and I would fall from grace

And that would wipe the smile right from my face

--Heat of the Moment, Asia

I am so fortunate to have met so many super cool bloggers out there, and I feel remiss that I have fallen behind in my awardly duties.

Two wonderful ladies awarded me the 7X7 link award.  Artistic visionary Heather Henry, of Little Red Henry has amazing talent and an eye for the beautiful.  Angela Orlowski-Peart has such a freeing optimism, I love her blog and her avatar.   This bloggery bauble made me have to think, not to mention go back and read some of my former posts.

Moral of that story is I need to refrain from blogging when I drink red wine.

The most beautiful post:  Bohemian vs. bohemian.  Not beautiful in the Bridget Bardot way, but about my heritage so beautiful to me.

The most popular post:  Crop Circles:  Message, Music, or Marsupials?  People want to see stoned wallabies.  Who knew?

The most controversial post:  Are you really what you read?  I don't think anything I write is too controversial, but I did have to take offense to some of the WSJ's offerings during this time.

The most helpful post:  Why Writing is a lot like a Bikini Wax.  If you can tolerate hair removal, writing is easy.

The most surprisingly successful post:  Cramping my Style.  For the woman with not enough black in her closet.

The most underrated post:  Of Fear and Phoebe Cates.  I have been paralyzed by fear so many times in life.  Starting to write has helped me through it.

The most pride-worthy post:  Poetry Schmoetry Blogfest.   It was the first time I’d written an “adult” poem.  It was cathartic.

Also, I have been Versatiled from every direction.  It wasn’t as erotic as it sounds, but I’m still just as happy about it.  I want to thank these ladies so much for bestowing such love on me.  E. Arroyo keeps me up to date on the best links every Friday at Chandara Writes.  Carol Kilgore from Under the Tiki Hut makes me want a pina colada and a cabana boy.  Not necessarily in that order.

To be versatiled fully, you must give seven facts about yourself.  I’m at loss, so I resorted to asking my family if there were certain things they think of when they think of me, and here are a few things they said: 

1.  At my junior prom, I shoved a fake plastic flamingo under my giant tulle dress on a dare and absconded with it.  I returned it Monday morning, but the prom director (my algebra teacher/vicious harpy), forced me to apologize to the entire school over the PA system.  As if prom could not suck more.

2.  I was attacked by a fighting cock as a child.  As in an uber-violent chicken.  Still have the scars and a fear of poultry.  Dad said he made good soup.

  

3.  Using an ironing board, I surfed in the showers of my sorority house at 3am, singing Beach Boys’ songs.  I might have been inebriated, but it was winter in Nebraska and perhaps I was also just a bit stir crazy.  This resulted in a letter from the house mom, a moratorium on shower use after 11pm, and the removal of the community ironing kit.

4.  As a toddler, I enjoyed washing my bottles in the toilet.  (Thanks, Mom.  Now I know.)

Would you like some E. coli with that?

5.  When I was little, I thought babies came out of your knees.  After all, whenever ladies on television had babies, their knees were up in the air.  Imagine my shock when I found out they actually come out of a way different joint.

Not where babies come from.

6.  I have fed baby pigs from a bottle.  Awwwww.

7.  I wanted to be a country music singer when I was a teenager.  Here is one of my songs; please cringe with me:

No I don’t have a Mercedes Benz

My skirt’s hemmed up with safety pins

I like bar-b-que, on a summer’s day

You can keep your brie and your chardonnay.

‘Cause I’m a beer and pretzels kind of girl

Trying to make it in a wine and cheese world

They’ve tried to change me but it’s always the same

This is the way I was born, and the way I remain

No I don’t have a cellular phone

Most Friday nights you’ll find me at home

I like football games and shopping malls

Opera it don’t interest me at all

{chorus}

No I don’t wear Christian Dior

My shirts are too tight and my jeans are torn

You won’t find me shopping Saks Fifth Avenue

I don’t pick my friends by the price of their shoes

{chorus}


I'd like to pass the love for the 7X7 award to Sarah Ahiers, of Falen Formulates Fiction and L.G. Smith of Bards and Prophets.  For versatility, I have to go with Rawknrobyn and Becky from Writer Searching for Bliss.

Once again, thanks to all of you who stop by and share some of your valuable time with me.  Have a country fried day!